Barenaked Awesome;

or, Of course they like hockey, they're Canadian



Ephraim and I love music. We listen to it constantly, we sing all the time, and make rhythms up using homemade instruments or our bodies. We talk to each other in silly little songs sometimes. Needless to say, he'll prove to have my musical tastes, far superior to that of, well, just about anyone. Remember the music snobs from High Fidelity (both the book and movie)? They have nothing on us.



So, suffice to say, we have discerning taste in children's music, whatever that is. We like most of what we hear on XM Kids. We will listen to anything, but there are certain songs, albums, and artists that we absolutely love. We love Dan Zanes and folk music especially. Add to that list the new Barenaked Ladies disc Snacktime. We especially like Crazy ABC's. And all the other songs. A lot. Most of the songs are vintage BNL, catchy riffs with clever lyrics. We love it. It's our current favorite!



So in summary, Snacktime is Ephraim and my current favorite disc to listen to. And honestly, I promise that it has everything to do with the music. Honestly. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that in the first verse of 7-8-9, the first song on the disc, they mention Gordie Howe. I mean, its true that I love hockey and all, but starting the disc off with a hockey reference is only icing on the cake.



And for the record, we do sing hockey songs. Specifically Bleu, Blanc, Rouge! A French language song that they played at the Montreal Forum in the 1980's. It's boubly great, since he sings about the Habs, and learns French to boot!

Max and Ruby Bother Me a Little;
or, Lets not talk about teen-age pregnancy quite yet son


Jacquelyn and I are careful to limit the amount of television that Ephraim is allowed to watch. Frankly, there are a lot of activities that are more educational and, honestly, fun that we can do together. We do crafts together and listen to a lot of music, which we have a absolute blast singing and dancing along with. Dan Zanes Father Goose/ABC off of All Around the Kitchen Live is a real barn-burning favorite of ours. More importantly to me though, we don't watch a lot of television because I never want there to be any thought that we used the television as a baby sitter. Spending time with Ephraim is way to precious. That doesn't mean that we don't watch any television though. We do watch television some, and Ephraim has a few favorite shows. Which leads me to another reason why we watch very little television, some of these shows scare and annoy me.


Enter Max and Ruby, a television show on Noggin based on characters from the popular series of books from Rosemary Wells. I'll admit that Max and Ruby the television show is much less annoying than the Max and Ruby books that we've read. I even find myself enjoying some of the shows along with Ephraim. I have some concerns and questions about the show though.


First, where are the parents? In no episode are parents seen or mentioned. Ruby, a seven year old, is apparently totally responsible for Max, a 2-3 year old. Even at bed time, she is responsible for getting Max to bed and to sleep. What gives? There is a grandmother but no parents. Are they workaholics more concerned with career than children? Is that why Grandmother Bunny is there all the time? It concerns me. Especially when Ephraim turns to me and says “Ruby is Max's Mommy.” That's a whole conversation we aren't doing quite yet.


Secondly, all the characters are bunnies, yet they have human toys. Specifically, space man and princess toys. What's up with that? You never see humans, only bunnies doing rather human things like gardening, building floats for parades, and painting. If in Max and Ruby universe the rabbits evolved instead of the humans, then why all the human toys? It annoys me.


So, those are more concerns. Minor really, and Ephraim really likes the show, laughing at most of it. So, in spite of my hyper-critical take on the show, we watch it once in a while. At least its not Hip-Hop Harry, right?

¡Nueva York! - Dan Zanes' New Album;
or Talent Doesn't Equal Knowledge


We love Dan Zanes in our family. We have all of his albums and listen to them constantly. We saw Dan and Friends in concert and it was probably the best show I've seen in a while, and totally blew Ephraim away. After that concert Dan was put in heavy rotation in our house, pushing The Wiggles almost completely out of the CD player. You can click on this link or the album picture to visit the Dan Zanes site - purchase many of his great discs! I recommend Catch that Train! and Night Time! - heck, splurge and get the How to Grow a Family Band collection!

So we were excited to be listening to Dane Zanes' new album, ¡Nueva York! for the first time the other day. It's pretty good musically, a collection of songs from Central and South America. Since its almost entirely in Spanish it isn't really what you would call a sing along album. Disappointing really, as Dan's earlier family music discs are all favorites or Ephraim and mine. I mean, The Wiggles are great and all, but neither Ephraim nor I sing their songs all that often. Dan's songs are different though, we sing them CONSTANTLY. It's great. Not so much the new album though, and Ephraim doesn't recognize “Cola”, the first single, like he recognizes ALL of Dan's other songs. In short, ¡Nueva York! is unlike other Dan Zanes album and more like one of the (many) Putumayo albums that we enjoy from time to time, but aren't memorable.

I've heard that Zanes refers to ¡Nueva York! as his “Pro-Immigration” album. Great, nothing wrong with infusing your music with political messages. If if those political messages run contra to the opinion of a majority of the population. Who knows though, maybe it'll work out for Dan better than it worked for the Dixie Chicks. All of that aside, I think that calling ¡Nueva York! “pro-immigration” is just a little disingenuous. It's not a pro-immigration album, its a pro-Hispanic immigration album. Really, many fine French, Chinese, and Albanians immigrate the the United States, yet only Spanish language songs are included. I think that we can reasonably assume that what Dan means by saying “pro-immigration,” what he really means is “pro-illegal Hispanic immigration.”

Dan's obvious liberal, and that's fine, but like many (okay, most) liberals, he obvious hasn't thought though the issue thoroughly enough. That's generously assuming that he has thought through the issue at all, instead of merely relying in feelings, hunches, and the word of others, which seems to be how many liberals form the basis for their beliefs. Let's gloss over the fact that illegal immigration is causing states like California billions (yes billions, $10. 5 billion a year in California) that could go a long way towards other programs. Monies that could lead to decreases in taxes, or to pay teachers, police, and firefighters more. Forget that illegal immigrants typically don't pay taxes on their earnings, therefore drawing from a system that others, not they, pay for. Forget about the money though. Forget about the fact that illegal immigrants are breaking the law. Forget that illegal immigrants as a population commit a higher percentage of crimes. Forget all of that (liberals do!) What many liberals can or refuse for political reasons to see is that illegal immigration ultimately hurts poor Mexicans.

Illegals come here to work, and send a lot of money back home to Mexico and other southern countries. These dollars are why the Mexico government encourages illegal immigration. The monies that are sent back across the border is keeping the Mexican economy afloat. By encouraging illegal immigration into the U.S., the current Mexican government also prolongs its hold on power. It means less angry citizens demanding change (and the extra monies in the coffers doesn't hurt). So, those that can afford to make the trek across the border illegally get to improve their lives while family members left behind and others unable or unwilling to get across the border are left to struggle in a poor country with poor benefits and few possibilities to improve their lot in life. I mean, if life in Mexico was great, Mexicans wouldn't be “immigrating” to the United States in droves.

So, if we are really compassionate and want to help the greatest number of peoples, which in the end is what I want, we need to close down the borders and depart all those that are here illegally. If people go through the proper channels to immigrate here, that's fine, but no more illegals. What will happen is that things in Mexico will get worse in the short term and there will be suffering. Pressure will worsen on the Mexican government to improve and there will be political unrest, and there will ultimately be change. Maybe the new government would be worse, maybe better. If worse the process would start over until they finally get it right. The result will be a country that can stand on its own, without leaking its population into the United States like a sieve.

So, while Dan Zanes is a unique and wonderful musical talent that Ephraim and I will enthusiastically continue to listen to and support, he is merely a musician. One who apparently lacks even the most rudimentary understanding of non-socialistic economic or political theory (meaning of course economic and political theory that actually passes muster in the real world.) Mad props to the Chicago boys, Mises, Friedmann, and Hayek.

Of course, most of the illegals at “pro-immigration” rallies carry Mexican flags while burning American flags. So maybe the whole point of the exercise isn't to get good jobs but instead to reclaim the southwest United States. Stranger things have happened.

Corn! The Tasty Treat;
or Ephraim's Food Preferences


Eating dinner with Ephraim is always an adventure. Whenever possible I ask him what he'd like for dinner and make that. He's a more picky eater than either Jacquelyn or I, so allowing him to say what he wants helps. It has resulted in some funny occurrences though. Like how he would always yell that he wanted tacos for dinner when driving home with Jacquelyn past Taco Bell or when asked at Taco Bell what he wanted, answering “Power Wagon,” which he eats at Moe's (Just so you know, we eat out infrequently, and despite the impression the above examples might give, we don't eat Tex-Mex that often.)
Something that he almost never asks for is corn, which is odd, since its just about his favorite thing to eat in the world. I'll make chicken, mashed potatoes, and macaroni, and he'll eat most of what's on his plate. Throw some corn on the plate and all bets are off. He'll eat other foods on his plate only after all of his, and oftentimes, all of my corn is gone. Not sweet corn mind you, just regular old corn, from the can or off the cob. He'd eat almost an entire can if you let him. I know because I once let him. He shovels corn into his mouth so quickly he doesn't even have time to chew it up well. It doesn't stay in him long enough to digest either. I know because. . .

This is Going to Hurt Me (Mentally) More Than It Hurts You;
or, Ephraim's first injury.

Ephraim and I went to the Tennessee Aquarium a couple of Wednesday's ago, and it was really great, for most of the day at least. We arrived early and, along with Ephraim's Granny, were included on the morning media cruise of the Aquarium's new attraction, the Tennessee River Gorge Explorer (Here's my article on the cruise.) Ephraim had a great time and was the life of the cruise, charming his way into the wheelhouse, onto the Captain's lap, and allowed to drive the boat. Yep, my son was piloting a multi-million dollar high-speed watercraft. Much better than the $500 kayak I used to bounce (literally) down the Ocoee River. The cruise was a blast and Ephraim really enjoyed himself.

After the cruise we went to the Aquarium, where Ephraim got to pet a stingray, see lots of exciting fish and other animals, and even pet a snake. It was all fun and games until we stopped for a potty break, at which time Ephraim hurt his pinkie finger when he slammed it in the bathroom stall door. It was a bad, bloody injury and I knew as soon as I saw it that stitches were called for.

So we went to the Chattanooga Children's Hospital (Erlanger) to have it taken care of. You have to realize that the thought of Ephraim, who for a long time refused to allow us to cut his hair (thank you Great Clips and your staff of rough-handed, cigarette-smelling, “stylists”!) getting stitches without being not knocked out was causing a great deal of anxiety to say the least. Ephraim was napping for most of the wait, and when not, indulging in the treat that is watching television. I, on the other hand, was developing what I was sure was a Prevacid-proof anxiety ache. They ended up giving Ephraim a “mind-eraser”, making him loopy and forgetful of the experience – if only they gave Dad's doses too! So they started, numbed the tip of the pinkie, cleaning it, squeezing out the swelling, and finally stitching. Ephraim started crying, not, it turned out, because of pain, but because of discomfort, meaning that the whole process interfered with television viewing. He didn't feel a thing. Lucky him.

When it was all over I was really relieved. I knew he was okay, starting to mend, and no worse for the experience. It was like a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. Of course, it wasn't much fun getting whacked constantly by the gi-normous mitt they wrapped his entire hand in. That's right, a whole hand bandage for two stitches on the tip of the small finger. Go figure.